Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Journalist. Mother. Bunny enthusiast. Pop culture junkie.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Beware of online home wreckers!



Online home wreckers.

Oh, where do I even begin?

This topic tugs at my heart because it affects me in several ways. I have three friends who have gotten divorced because of it.

In the good ol' days, home wreckers actually had to work. They had to keep up their physique, dress like skanks, and step outside their home to snare their prey. They had to perfect the art of flirting.

Now, they just need to get on a computer.

In the digital world, any girl can be a home wrecker. The overweight bimbo who wishes she had Barbie's husband. The older woman who wishes she was younger. The scorned teenager who wishes to sabotage her crush's new relationship. You can be anybody on the Internet. It's that simple.

In most cases, the home wreckers have a classic scenario. Let's choose Facebook as an example. The girl befriends a guy she thinks is hot, without seeing his profile. When he accepts her, she notices he has a wife/girlfriend. She doesn't care. Soon, she is leaving flirty photo comments. And then she is leaving wall comments. And when you bring it up to him, he will get annoyed ("Stop being jealous, she's just a friend" or "She's just some girl I met on facebook. I don't even know her."). And then come the messages...the ones you can't read. The ones where she's pouring her heart out to him and slowly (or quickly) drawing him away from you, one word at a time.

My friend Sarah was the first friend I had who went through this nightmare. She got married right after college, to her high school sweetheart. Five months later, her husband told her he met a girl on Facebook and asked for a divorce. Apparently a girl found her husband on Facebook by searching for people who liked The White Stripes. She randomly came across him and liked what she saw. She started messaging him about her life and how lonely she was and how she wished she could meet a guy like him. Sarah's husband was so swept off his feet and flattered with the attention, he left Sarah and immediately moved in with the new girl right after the divorce.

Then it was my friend Jessica (from college). She married her college sweetheart and two years later started noticing a pretty young 20-year-old commenting on his Facebook wall. He denied liking the girl. "I had a class with her three years ago and she just found me on Facebook. Don't be jealous." he told Jessica. She eventually caught him messaging the girl and he sheepishly admitted he had fallen in love. They divorced immediately afterward.

And then it was Jennifer S. (a high school friend of mine). Same exact story. A girl from a nearby town found her husband (of one year) on Facebook through mutual friends. Photo comments. Wall comments. Secret messages. Another marriage destroyed.

Almost every husband or boyfriend promises he's never going to stray.

But only he knows if that's true.

If men are going to cheat, they are going to cheat.

But even the most faithful of men can be conned on the Internet by a pretty face, series of sweet messages, and the hope that maybe there is someone better out there.

Someone a lot better than you.

9 comments:

Michael Kan said...

Wow, I never knew that. The darkside of Facebook, eh? Good to know.

starbrained said...

UM.
That's really scary.

C.Elizabeth and Natalia said...

This is so easy... and scary. Thanks for sharing.

C.Elizabeth

Couture Carrie said...

Scary stuff! So sad!

xoxox,
CC

yiqin; said...

Wow, really freaked me out :/

Ton Amour said...

That is disturbing!
I don't know what kind of man would still keep messages secret, if his significant other asked.
That is very messed up.
If someone is in a relationship, engaged, or married... that should be an easy indication that there are boundaries not to be crossed.
I would never sink so low as to use the "be my shoulder to cry on" card.
That makes me queasy.

Charmaine Li said...

never knew that!

Rebecca, A Clothes Horse said...

That is so terrible, but as you mentioned near the end we can not blame the women solely. Everyone should be faithful regardless...but temptation is so sweet.

Imogen said...

I made Rydog an album of pictures of us, like Ariella suggested and I also bought him a jacket. (His real name is Ryan in case you were wondering lol).

Thats really scary what you wrote about, so sad about your friends. You write so well about all these issues.